Five months may seem like a long time to lose 25 pounds, but I’m finding the slow and steady approach is far more effective for me. In the past I’ve been able to lose as much as 4 or 5 pounds a week in short bursts, but I’ve never been able to stick with a program like that for very long. I’ve also found that the weight tends to come back as quickly as it comes off. I’ve been losing about a pound a week steadily since September, and I feel confident that the lifestyle changes I’m making are something that I can stick with for the long haul.

One of the frustrating things about weight loss is that the pounds don’t come off in a linear progression. I weigh myself first thing every morning, and some days I seem to be taking giant steps backwards. A lot depends on fluid retention from one day to the next, or what I ate at what time the night before. The important thing to remember is that the long-term trend line is moving downward. If I had the discipline to only weigh myself once a week I could see that more clearly.

Another reason that my progress seems slow is that I am building substantial muscle mass at the same time I’m burning fat. Even though I’ve taken nearly 4 inches off my waist so far, my chest, shoulders, arms and legs are all substantially larger than when I started. Given my age and sorry physical condition, I would not have believed it was possible to achieve the results I’ve seen so far. I will be in far better shape at 48 than I was at 28.

It’s hard to go for a day without hearing some reference to the number of obese and overweight people in the U.S. population. While there is no question that there are way too many fat people among us, I’m beginning to doubt the numbers. The statistics are based on Body Mass Index, which is a simple formula that divides a person’s weight by the square of their height. It does not take muscle mass or bone density into consideration, so it produces misleading results for anyone with above average muscle development. At my current height and weight, I am still considered borderline obese based on BMI alone, and even when I reach my target weight of 175, I will still be considered overweight. Neither of these results paints an accurate picture of my true physical condition. Body fat percentage is a far more reliable indicator.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of my improved physical condition is the change in my personality. I’ve always been an introvert, and I still prefer to spend the majority of my time alone. I’m finding that as my body changes, so too does my ability to tolerate social situations. Maybe I’m less self-conscious, or perhaps the exercise has activated some long dormant sociability hormone. I know I will never be a social butterfly, but if I stick with the program at least I will be slightly less reclusive.

While most folks look forward to the holidays, many introverts view the season with a sense of impending doom. Christmas parties and extended family gatherings would probably never happen if introverts ruled the world. Since we are a small minority, we are subjected to these rituals by well meaning extroverts who take offense at our lack of enthusiasm. They simply do not understand that while the company of others provides them emotional nourishment, it has the opposite effect on us. They might as well siphon off our life force with a hose, or suck it out like vampires. We are left completely drained by these events, and the extroverts who surround us never seem to grasp this fundamental aspect of our nature.

In a few short weeks, my extended family will converge on a small 3 bedroom condo and spend the next several days doing absolutely nothing. The days will revolve around meal times and the countdown to the cocktail hour. From morning to night, everyone will sit around in one large room where there will always be more people than chairs. Children will scream, drinks will be spilled, toys will cover every inch of available floor space, and the sound of the 24 hour news channel will be drowned out by the same endless loop of cheesy Christmas music that we’ve listened to every year since the Johnson administration.

My family can’t comprehend why I am not an enthusiastic participant in these annual festivities, and they don’t realize that the only time I ever get migraine headaches are during these gatherings. I will celebrate my 47th Christmas this year, and only one has been spent in my own home. It’s difficult enough to maintain private time and space in my own house, but it is virtually impossible in someone else’s. This complete lack of privacy makes Christmas my least favorite time of the year.

If there is an introvert in your family, give them the best Christmas gift ever this year. Recognize their need for private time, and don’t chastise them for what you regard as anti-social behavior. Don’t demand that they spend every minute of their time engaged in group activities, and don’t go looking for them every time they wander off for a few minutes alone. Most of all, recognize that their need for time alone is a fundamental aspect of who they are and not a character flaw.

The site has evolved into a portfolio of sorts, showcasing my thoughts and ideas on a wide range of subjects. It also includes an online resume and a detailed narrative of my professional history. The format allows me to include substantially more relevant information than a standard resume, and it provides an opportunity for potential employers to learn a great deal more about me than other applicants can provide. It also gains far more exposure than I would receive by traditional means. In the past 30 days, the site has received approximately 1000 unique visitors, and roughly 1 in 6 has read my resume. Granted these are not targeted exposures, but it only takes one reader to make the difference.

In the beginning I had no misgivings about including my resume online. I hadn’t intended to express controversial opinions on subjects that might offend potential employers, so there was little reason to believe that I might actually be hindering my job search. Over time, I have become more outspoken on a wider range of issues, and the likelihood that a potential employer might take offense has become a very real possibility. I need to decide if what I am doing makes sense, or if my efforts might be truly counterproductive.

As our national economy goes further into the tank, I’m becoming less optimistic that my job search will lead to the kind of opportunity I have been seeking. I’m also forced to consider the possibility that remaining in Roanoke will not be an option. This leaves me with two choices to consider. I can continue to call attention to myself as an outspoken guy willing to take a chance, or I can retreat and follow a more conventional job search approach.

As unemployment rises, the challenges faced by mid-life career changers like me become even more pronounced. Employers tend to insist on years of industry specific experience as a minimum qualification for most jobs, regardless of whether that experience has any bearing on the ability of the individual to perform the task. The best I can do is attempt to sell my specific skills as they relate to the job requirements. As long as employers filter applicants based on experience alone, I don’t stand a chance. A plain vanilla resume simply won’t work for me.

The fact of the matter is that everything about me is at least slightly unconventional, from my personality type to my professional background. The likelihood that the majority of employers would give me a chance is pretty slim, based solely on the fact that I have not followed a conventional career path. With that in mind, I’ve made a conscious decision to call attention to the things that make me different, instead of trying to cover them up.

I fully understand that the majority of potential employers who view this site may not form a favorable impression of me as a job candidate. Whether they disagree with my positions on specific issues, or simply find the appearance of the site unprofessional, they are well within their rights to act accordingly. In all likelihood however, these are probably the same people who would not consider me if I submitted a plain vanilla resume either. They simply lack the imagination to consider that someone from outside their own limited realm might possess talents and insights not found within the conventional pool of candidates.

For the time being, I’m convinced that finding the right opportunity for me calls for an unconventional approach. I’m seeking an employer who shares my ability to look beyond the obvious, and to see opportunities where others see obstacles. My readership continues to grow at a fairly rapid pace, but so far I haven’t attracted the one reader who matters most. Hopefully it’s only a matter of time.

In my youth, I was a mystery to my parents and teachers, and my academic performance baffled everyone. I managed to ace any class that interested me with virtually no effort, while others left me so bored that I simply zoned out and didn’t listen to a word. My last two years in high school were spent at a small private college preparatory day school. I had higher standardized test scores than all but a handful of my classmates, but I graduated 33rd in a class of 34 students.

Most people thought I was lazy, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. When there is important work to be done, I am the kind of person who does not stop until it is finished. I simply had a different standard then for what I considered to be important. Adolescent rebellion also played a major role. I was pushed constantly to conform to someone else’s standards, but no one made the slightest effort to understand mine. The harder other people pushed to turn me into something I was not, the more stubborn I became in my refusal.

One thing I discovered about my self at a fairly early age was that when the pace of instruction was accelerated, my interest level and my academic performance peaked. Throughout high school and college I attended summer school on a regular basis because the format suited my style of learning. Summer classes typically condense a semester’s worth of instruction into two weeks of concentrated class time. I never took a summer class that I did not ace. I was not aware of it at the time, but Colorado College follows this type of schedule throughout the year. I would have gotten a great deal more out of my college experience in this type of atmosphere.

Since no one ever figured out what made me tick, I didn’t receive any worthwhile guidance when it came time to consider colleges or career paths. My father’s suggestion that I should become a CPA demonstrated just how totally oblivious he was to my fundamental nature. He never attempted to force his preference on me, but was quick to shoot me down whenever I expressed an interest in any sort of creative field.

If I could go back and do it all over again, I would probably study Architecture or Industrial Design. I have the ability to envision complex designs in my mind, and I get tremendous satisfaction from turning those visions into reality. When I walk into a house for the first time, I immediately begin to remodel it in my head. I can walk through a building under construction and envision the finished product with perfect clarity. The thing that held me back when I was younger is the fact that I cannot draw, but with the computer aided design tools available today that would not be an issue.

Unfortunately, by the time we reach our mid-forties, going back to school to study an entirely new career field is not a very practical solution. I will never be an architect, but I would love to figure out some other way to utilize my creative abilities. While it’s too late for me to follow the perfect educational and career path, it’s not too late for my son. At the age of three, he is already displaying signs of an introverted nature. I fully intend to figure out what makes him tick so I can provide the guidance and support he will need to find his own path.

You might think that having ideas is a great thing, but they tend to come so quickly that each one is a distraction from the one that came before it. This makes it difficult to fully evaluate any one idea to determine its merit, or to commit myself to bringing any of them to fruition. It also makes it very difficult to settle on a course of action for seeking employment.

I’ve been out of work for most of 2008, and the sad fact is that I am no closer to finding a job today than I was six months ago. Part of my problem lies in the fact that my varied talents and interests over the years have led me to follow a very unconventional career path. I have the knowledge and ability to perform a wide variety of jobs, but I lack the credentials and the years of industry specific experience that most employers demand. My introverted nature also prevents me from engaging in the kind of networking activities that most people rely on to find work.

I’ve learned several very important lessons about myself over the course of my working life, and I’m struggling to find the employment opportunity that will allow me to perform to my highest potential. I know that I can be an incredible asset to any organization that will allow me to utilize my talents in a manner that is in keeping with my fundamental nature. My challenge is to find a situation that fits these parameters.

I am at my absolute best when faced with a constant variety of new tasks and challenges. I have the ability to learn and master new skills very quickly, but once I’ve developed a high level of proficiency my interest tends to wane. I have a talent for designing systems and strategies, but once the creative work is completed, the implementation of those systems is best left to someone else.

I need to work on complex projects that I can complete on my own or as part of a very small team. When I begin a challenging project, I can focus with incredible intensity on the completion of the task, and I do not stop until the job is done. I can picture the completed project clearly in my mind, and I get tremendous satisfaction from turning my vision into reality. When I have to rely on other people to contribute, I tend to lose focus and patience if they do not share my level of commitment or my sense of urgency.

I need to be part of a relatively small organization. Over the years I’ve worked for tiny privately owned companies and large publicly traded corporations. I am at my best when I am able to contribute to the overall success of the organization rather than being a tiny cog in a large machine.

I need to be surrounded by intelligent people. The most effective way to refine my thoughts and ideas is through interaction and brainstorming with people who are smart, creative and intellectually curious. I have little patience for people who lack these qualities.

I need to be part of an ethical organization. I am driven by a very powerful internal sense of right and wrong, and I do not associate with people or organizations whose actions are not in keeping with my standards. I cannot work for a company that does not operate with the best interest of their customers in mind by providing honest value and fair treatment.

It has taken me a lifetime to figure these things out, and some of these lessons have been learned the hard way. The older I get, the more determined I am not to repeat my mistakes. I’ve worked for large companies that lacked any sense of direction or mission, and I’ve worked for unscrupulous companies that had no regard for their customers or employees. My challenge now is to find an employer that will enable me to reach my highest potential by remaining true to myself. Hopefully it won’t take another lifetime.

If you find it hard to put your best foot forward while mixing and mingling with a room full of strangers, it is essential to develop an alternative strategy for making yourself known to people who are in the know. I’ve put together a list of possible alternatives to traditional networking that just might work for you. These approaches may not produce the same immediate or spontaneous results as a chance encounter at a traditional networking event, but they will at least serve to “get your name out there”.

Write For Trade Journals: Virtually any industry you can think of has at least one dedicated trade journal, and these publications are always on the lookout for well written articles on relevant subjects. If you’ve got the writing skills and the industry specific knowledge required to create compelling content, this is a great way to establish a reputation as an expert in your field. Most publications don’t pay much, but if you’re asked to become a regular contributor the notoriety is worth far more than the financial compensation. Be sure that every article you submit includes contact information at the end so readers can get in touch with you directly.

Volunteer For Speaking Engagements: It might sound strange at first, but there are plenty of introverts who are talented public speakers. Local business and civic organizations are always in need of speakers for their regular meetings, and volunteers are usually welcome. These meetings are precisely the kind of event where a lot of networking takes place, and you can use that to your advantage. You can easily avoid the idle chit-chat that takes place before the program, but after your presentation you are likely to be approached by a number of people who wish to discuss your specific area of expertise. This is a real opportunity for an introvert to shine. If you make a positive impression, people will think of you when they come across the perfect opportunity.

Start A Blog: If you’re trying to get noticed online, all you need to know is that search engines love blogs. The fact that they are updated regularly and typically filled with keyword-rich content makes them an irresistible target for search-bots. If you’re looking for work, a blog dedicated to your specific area of expertise is a great way to get noticed, and to develop a reputation as an expert in your field. Keep in mind that the appearance and content of your blog should reflect your professionalism, so don’t mix personal and professional information on the same site. If you really want to write about your love of Star Wars, or your collection of Unabomber memorabilia, do this on a different site, and be sure to use an alias. Just remember that search engines also track the information you don’t want potential employers to see.

Place An Ad: While it’s true that most jobs are never advertised, it’s also true that business owners and managers frequently read the classifieds just to keep up with what the competition is doing. If you’re seeking work in a specific industry, consider placing a position wanted ad. Just be sure to ask that it be included with the job listings for your industry rather than in a separate section. Most cities also have a weekly or monthly newspaper dedicated specifically to local business issues. These reach a very targeted audience, and the advertising rates are usually pretty reasonable. A small display ad in one of these publications can be a great way to promote yourself.

Volunteer For Non-Profits: Most non-profit organizations are under-funded, and under-staffed, and they welcome all the volunteer help they can get. Find an organization whose work you admire and volunteer your services. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests who just might be your key to discovering hidden opportunities. Small organizations frequently have vacancies on their boards that go unfilled for extended periods. Volunteering as a board member is a great alternative to traditional networking, and it looks good on your resume too.

My initial impression turned out to be correct. While there is good information in the book, roughly half of the pages are filled with silly checklists, distracting sidebars, and repetition of key points ad nauseam. I would have enjoyed it much more if she had kept it concise and said everything just once. This book would be much better at 150 pages than at 315.

I enjoyed the early chapters of the book which focus on defining introversion, and on the physiological differences between introverts and extroverts. She also goes into great detail about the difference between shyness and introversion, which is a source of confusion and misunderstanding for many people.

The second section of the book focuses on relationships, with chapters on dating and marriage, parenting, socializing, and the workplace. I found the chapters on marriage and parenting most informative, and I picked up a few good pointers for dealing with my introverted son. I also relived a few painful experiences from my own childhood trying to relate to my extroverted parents and siblings.

The third and final section of the book was a major disappointment. Here the author attempts to provide instructions for creating a life to suit our introverted nature, and she contradicts herself at every turn. One moment she tells us to accept ourselves for who and what we are, and the next she reverts to the tired advice of learning to act extroverted.

It is obvious that Dr. Laney and I are at opposite ends of the Thinking vs. Feeling continuum, and every aspect of the book reflects her touchy-feely nature. While her advice may be quite helpful to other feeling introverts, those of us on the rational end of the spectrum will find it off-putting and downright silly.

The greatest shortcoming of the book is that Dr. Laney lumps all introverts into one category, and she portrays us as lethargic creatures unable to think on our feet. Since the book is based almost entirely on interviews with her patients, it reflects only the experiences of introverts in psychotherapy. A sampling that more accurately reflects the introvert population as a whole would have resulted in a very different book.

Let’s begin by narrowing down our definition of sales as a career field. There are two very broad categories to consider; Business-to-Consumer (B2C) and Business-to-Business (B2B). B2C is selling at the retail level and generally involves small transactions with a large number of customers. In most cases, these are one-time interactions with people you do not know. I would not recommend this type of selling for introverts.

B2B sales is an entirely different concept. The object is to develop long-term working relationships with companies who will purchase your product or service on an ongoing basis. As strange as it sounds, this can be an ideal scenario for an introvert. The trick is having the technical expertise to represent your product or service effectively, along with the correct support mechanisms to ensure your success.

Products or services that require extensive technical knowledge are ideal for introverted sales people. While most extroverted sales reps rely on developing personal relationships with their customers, the savvy introvert works to become a valued technical resource instead. If you can get your customers to think of you first whenever complex questions arise, you’re well on your way to success.

My own experience bears this out. Printing is an incredibly complex process, and I worked diligently to develop and maintain a high level of expertise in my field. As a result of this I became known as an expert on very complex projects. While other companies were often called in to submit bids, I was the one sought out for my advice during the initial design stages of a project. The final specifications were frequently based on my recommendations and on the specific manufacturing capabilities of my company. Under these circumstances I didn’t lose very often.

Becoming a recognized expert also has advantages when it comes to developing new business. Customers are often reluctant to recommend a sales person to their colleagues and co-workers for the simple reason that most sales people don’t add much value. When you become an expert in your field, that situation changes dramatically. Customers are happy to make introductions on your behalf because they are now doing their colleagues a favor rather than doing you a favor. After a very short time in sales, I was able to abandon traditional extrovert-style prospecting methods completely and rely entirely on personal introductions from satisfied customers.

Based solely on my own family, I see little evidence to support heritability. My father is the ultimate extrovert, perfectly at ease surrounded by total strangers in unfamiliar settings. My mother had some introverted tendencies, but since she spent most of her life in my father’s orbit, it’s difficult to judge whether she would have ever put herself in the same situations without him. I suspect not, but she was clearly at ease in familiar social settings. My older sister is a purely social creature, and she expends tremendous energy maintaining and cultivating an extensive network of lifelong friends and acquaintances. My younger sister also requires a high level of social interaction, but she tends to operate within the confines of a smaller circle of friends. From this family, I emerged as the only pure introvert. The only other example I am aware of within my extended gene pool was my maternal grandfather, a man so content with his own company that he spent the last 40 years of his life as a virtual hermit.

While I am not a hermit by any means, my wife and I are both classic introverts. We have a very limited social life, and don’t make much of an effort to develop one. Since we have moved several times, our social circles have become increasingly smaller. We both engage in frequent solitary activities, most notably reading, and I find that I even prefer to play golf by myself, rather than with a regular partner or foursome. I view the game as an individual challenge rather than a social activity.

Three year olds are not normally known for their finely honed social skills, but I believe Robert is already displaying evidence of an introverted nature. He clearly enjoys social interactions with familiar adults, but is less enthusiastic when it comes to playing with the majority of his preschool classmates. When we drop him off in the mornings, he will generally seek out an empty table to eat his breakfast, and he is more likely to wander off to play alone than join a group activity. Whenever the kids sit on the floor to sing songs or watch videos, he tends to move to the edge of the group rather than be surrounded by other children.

I spent the majority of my childhood years engaged in daydreaming, and Robert seems to share that tendency. At times he becomes so deeply transfixed that I have to shake him to get his attention. I’m sure that if I were in school today, I would be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, and I am fearful that he will face the same problem. It’s not that I had any problem paying attention, I simply chose not to. Whatever was going on inside my head at any given moment was usually a lot more interesting than what the teacher had to say.

One of the defining characteristics of an introvert is that we are intensely private, and we tend to develop separate personas for public and private situations. Without this adaptive coping mechanism, we would have a very difficult time functioning in a world dominated by extroverts. As I look back on my career, I’m amazed that I was able to maintain this public persona well enough to spend 10 years in sales as a top 1% producer in my industry. As I get older, I find it easier to switch back and forth between my public and private self, but it requires much more energy to remain “on” for extended periods of time. If my son does turn out to be a true introvert, I will do my best to help him understand the importance of developing an appropriate public persona at the earliest possible age.

Since introverts only comprise 25 to 30 percent of the total population, we are frequently misunderstood by the majority of people who do not comprehend our basic need for solitude. People also tend to confuse introversion with shyness. While these two things are quite different in reality, a child who is both shy and introverted will have an even more difficult time relating to his peers. The fact that introversion is frequently misinterpreted as arrogance complicates matters further. I struggled with all of these issues as a child, but while my shyness diminished with age, introversion remains an essential element of my personality. Hopefully this experience will leave me better prepared to relate to my own child.

One interesting statistic I came across this morning suggested that while introverts are a minority of the total population, as measured intelligence within a group increases, so too does the incidence of introversion. Among people with IQ’s of 160 and above, the 70/30 split is reversed. While Jennifer and I are nowhere near the 160 level, we both have IQ’s roughly 2 standard deviations above the mean. Evidence suggests that innate intelligence is a highly heritable trait. If Robert has inherited our introversion, there’s a pretty good chance that he also got some smarts to go along with it. Hopefully that will help him adapt to an extroverted world.

Until I began to contemplate my first major career change in 2001, I regarded any sort of personality testing with the same disdain that I hold for self-help gurus, life coaches, and feng-shui consultants. My opinion changed almost overnight when the company I worked for began to administer personality assessments for certain new hires. Being the true skeptic, I decided to take several of the tests myself to gauge their accuracy. I was astonished by the results, which ultimately contributed to my decision to abandon a career path that I had pursued for nearly 20 years.

Not everyone who takes a personality assessment is going to find it a life altering experience, but in my case the testing provided answers to many questions that had puzzled me since childhood. Why was I able to ace certain classes in school with virtually no effort, and struggled to stay awake in others? Why was I able to focus with incredible intensity on a project, only to lose interest the moment it was completed? Why was I so easily bored with the day-to-day administration of systems that I had designed and built from scratch?

The answers to these questions, and many more, were found in the results of a battery of personality assessments, the most revealing of which was the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Of the 16 personality types identified by Myers & Briggs, mine is among the rarest. Estimates vary wildly, but by most accounts, the INTP type comprises between one and three percent of the total population. The specifics of the INTP profile are too detailed to spell out here, but in a nutshell, I learned that I am best suited to endeavors that allow me to focus my creative energies on the widest possible variety of tasks.

If you’ve ever had the nagging feeling that your career isn’t a perfect fit, there are a number of resources available to help you. One of my favorites is a book titled Do What You Are by Barbara Barron and Paul Tieger. In addition to helping you determine your own personality type, the book provides detailed profiles for each of the different types, along with advice on careers that fit and don’t fit for each. It’s a great starting point if you’re thinking of a career change.